Somewhat recently I went to a live event put on by a person whose blog and emails I read frequently, and was so excited to see in person. He was traveling to my city from afar, and offered an evening of heart-led transformation and authenticity, mixed with a little yoga. Totally my thing.
This guy has been very open with his “mess to success” story, and has even made it to Oprah, the ultimate in being acknowledged for your story and contribution in America. And this guy counts many other women I admire as friends. So of course I had to be there. I forked the last of my Christmas-gift-mad-money-stash for a ticket, and awaited the evening.
I really wished I hadn’t. (But later I got the lesson and realized it was great that I went.)
There is a lot about this guy that truly is inspiring, the way he’s built such a following. But, IMHO that was not where he was coming from, instead he emulated someone else I have seen live. His friend, Tony Robbins. Yep, I’ve been. Several years ago my man and I went to LA for a live, three-day Tony Robbins event, walked across a bed of hot coals, the whole thing. (By the way, if you ever get a chance to walk across hot coals, do it, it’s an incredible experience.) Tony was absolutely amazing. Like him or not, the man has a message, and can masterfully lift the energy of a room of 10,000 people in minutes.
Which is why I’m guessing this person emulated Tony more than letting himself come through. Which is tragic, because I went to see him, not Tony, this time. The workshop was even structured like Tony’s events, the mannerisms he used were like Tony’s, all of it.
Before this night, I had been inspired by this guy’s story, his message, and his open adoration of those he cares about. I was excited to go through his process to help us get more into our hearts. That process was finally demonstrated toward the end of the night, with just one person from the audience. As much as I love group dynamics, and feel that I can often learn from someone else’s experience, not much time was left to really try the process for ourselves; it felt rushed. Not the feeling I wanted for going deep into my own practice, and it wasn’t long enough for me to feel like I would integrate into my life. Major let-down.
While I do feel that this person will get to be more authentic over time, as he finds what works for him as himself, I left feeling really bothered by how inauthentic the whole evening felt. Which meant that, if I was feeling bothered, I had to look at where I wasn’t being authentic.
Hurray. Another growth opportunity. (said dryly)
So while I drove home, and over the following weeks, I thought more about this, and realized the biggest place I haven’t been fully authentic is in my blog and business. Not that I don’t believe or live what I write and teach and talk about; I truly do. But I haven’t been fully being myself either. While I am a health coach and healthy foodie, I have more parts of me that I haven’t been showing here, the woo side who loves tarot and astrology and psychic readings and connecting with spirit, the interior designer who also practices feng shui, the animal rights defender, the petitioner of things-that-are-harmful-according-to-me. (There are many, trust me, stay tuned.)
So I will be sharing more of myself, and hope that you’ll stay with me. I encourage you to be more of yourself, too. It’s how we get to really relate to each other, where the connections really happen, and we help each other grow. And from what I can tell from my clients, family and friends, its actually what we’re all craving.
p.s. I didn’t name the person because I do believe he’s doing good in the world, and I’m not into bashing. He’ll figure it out; he’s just in the process, like we all are.